It's recently come to my attention that Savannah won't survive Oblivion. This makes me incredibly sad, as I adore the character and I've even won an award for people loving to hate her. The problem is I made her as part of a threesome -- she's a twin, and there was also an older brother. Both of the other players flaked, leaving poor Savannah all alone... She's anorexic, has one friend is an epic asshole, and generally will probably either commit suicide or starve herself to death. Things aren't looking good at this point, which has inspired me to write something up for her. If things go the way I think they're going to go, I'll have this done and just be able to copy and paste it over. If things turn out differently, well, hooray for creative outlets?

Savannah fell backwards against the hallway, as much from grief as from hurt. She had thought that CJ cared about her. She'd known it was mostly physical, but there had been something inside her which believed it could be something more. He had taken such good care of her after the accident, doing his best to reassure her and patch her up. And Savannah had thought that it counted for something.

But, then again, perhaps she had known all along. When she'd come to see him tonight, she had offered him her body to have in whatever way suited him. Had it been a real relationship, she would not have needed to start things in that way. She could have just knocked and asked to spend the night. Instead, she had known there was a possibility he would reject her, and so she had offered him sex as a sort of bargaining chip...

That bargaining chip had failed her, and now she had nowhere to go.

Loneliness crushed her from all sides. She had spent the afternoon crying, but this tore the sobs from her once more. They weren't loud; she cried quietly, body shaking with each sob and tears spilling down onto her top. As Savannah did with everything, she took this personally. Her sister and brother's disappearance had stirred up guilt -- it was her fault they were here, and she should have been with them. CJ's rejection stirred up her feelings of inadequacy and her low self-esteem, because it was at last clear that she wasn't good enough for him. She would leave him alone, then, if that was what he wanted. She only wished he would have said so before she had made such a fool of herself.

Tearfully, Savannah aimlessly began to wander. Her own room was haunted -- not literally, mind you. Savannah didn't believe in ghosts and goblins. It was as though she could feel Samantha there still, watching Savannah and accusing her of abandoning her. Jesse was there too, echoing all of those terrible thoughts she had said during their fight, their last interaction. That was why she had come to see CJ, thinking that, maybe, just for tonight, she could stay with him. If CJ didn't want her, who would? There was absolutely no one aboard that she knew half as well as CJ...

She was all alone.

Somehow, she found herself on deck. She had ghosted up here, unaware of her steps, as she had done so much of the day. Whether it was the concussion or her grief, Savannah's brain was scattered, and she couldn't seem to keep track of even herself. A soft, warm breeze blew, tickling her skin as it slid over her bare arms and legs. The stars above were beautiful and unfamiliar to Savannah. She was a city girl, and the only stars she knew were those in Hollywood.

What a waste of life she was. It should have been she who had vanished, not Samantha. Samantha had been brilliant and pretty in that shy, natural way of hers. She could have done anything with her life and been successful. Savannah was none of those things, she knew. She was as stupid as a cow, and, without make-up, she probably resembled one too. She was nothing without her sister, without others...

Now, there was no one.

Savannah closed her eyes and leaned out over the rails. It was a precarious position, balanced on her one, good leg with her arms tightly clasping the slick, metal bars as she tested how far she could lean without falling. She wondered what it would be like to hit the water so far below. It would hurt, she thought, like a belly-flop, but so much worse from such a distance. The fall would knock the air out of her lungs, making it impossible for her to breathe or cry out. If she was lucky, it would knock her unconscious, and she would never know that she was drowning. To feel the world slip away, how would that feel? Would it hurt to feel your lungs filled with water, and how frightening would it be to watch the sky overhead turn black as the light faded from your eyes?

Her hands loosened their hold on the railing. Everything would be so still. And she didn't deserve Heaven, but she wanted to believe she would make it there. She wanted to see Samantha again and apologize for leaving her, see Jesse again and apologize for that terrible fight... She didn't want to be alone.

For a long time, she remained that way, frozen, hanging out over the edge of the ship. Then, eventually, she pulled herself back so forcefully it sent her careening backwards onto the deck. She couldn't bring herself to do it, to throw herself into oblivion, which is what she deserved. She was so useless, such a coward, she couldn't even do that properly...

The morning sun rose, shining its warming rays down onto the sleeping girl. Mentally and physically exhausted, the night had made quick work of Savannah. She lay on her side, body curled into some semblance of a ball, with her chest rising and falling with steady breaths. As the sun's light fell across her face, her eyes opened warily.

A look around herself confirmed that she had survived the night. Such a pity.